Tips for managing stress at your kid’s soccer game

  1. Chew gum
  2. Pace
  3. “Watch” from car
  4. Pick a fight with spouse for breathing too loud
  5. Look up your ex on social media
  6. Check email
  7. Check work email
  8. Spend quality time in the portajohn
  9. Read your diary out loud
  10. Make origami crane out of empty bottle of water
  11. Think about everything you have to do when you get home
  12. Think about global warming
  13. Google “symptoms” you’ve been feeling in the last 20 minutes
  14. Make a public speech
  15. Try to remember whether you turned off the stove before you left
  16. Calculate the cost of college
  17. Pull out flask
  18. Refill flask

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